- How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? You can see his lips moving.
- What’s the difference between a leech and a lawyer? The leech stops sucking your blood and drops off once you’re dead.
- Satan stopped at a lawyer’s office to make him an offer. “I agree to quadruple your income while you only have to work six months a year. In addition, I agree that you will live a healthy, happy and active life until your death at 100 years old. In return, I require the souls of your wife, children, and grandchildren” explained Satan. After reflecting on this offer for a few moments, the lawyer looked up at Satan and asked “What’s the catch?”
A couple of years ago, my daughter gave me a “Lawyer Jokes” book for Christmas. Over the weekend, I finally got around to leafing through it. Negative opinions on the work lawyers do and on their honesty have been around for centuries. And funny lawyer jokes are, for the most part, funny because they contain an element of truth. This got me thinking about the lawyers I’ve known over the years, whether as acquaintances, adversaries or allies.
As a group, the lawyers I’ve known and dealt with are honest and decent human beings. They try to do right by their clients. Having said that, there are those (a distinct minority) that I’d just as soon not have to deal with. As in any large group, there are certain individuals within that group that are less trustworthy than others.
On the other hand, there are attorneys that I have known who are more than just “decent human beings”. They readily share their knowledge with colleagues when asked and their top priority is serving their clients, even though these traits do not necessarily maximize their income. Over the years, these lawyers have been more than willing to share with me their opinions and expertise which, I believe, has made me a better and more efficient lawyer. And, more than just getting a job done for a client, these lawyers craft solutions (or at least try) for their clients’ problems or issues while balancing optimizing results and minimizing expense.
So, even though there is an element of truth in some of the “Lawyer Jokes”, realize that every lawyer is an individual and that the vast majority are trying to represent their clients to the best of their ability.